We had a power outage last night and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for their kids. How about trying to leave better kids for our planet.
My wife found lipstick in my pocket, I told her straight up I was cheating, there was no way I was going to confess I sell AVON.
First picture of Kim And Kanye’s baby.
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
The person with the best job; Stevie Wonder’s housekeeper.
She probably doesn’t do a damn thing all day long.
If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed to you.
If you cannot afford a doctor, tough bro.
I’m guessing at some point someone drank from the toilet before. So they put up a sign.
Looks like the low will be 440 tomorrow . Maybe time to break out the shorts.
Insurance Companies are like the Mafia. They have to scare you into buying protection.
Their sales pitch!
“That’s a nice family you’ve got there. Be a shame if something HAPPENED to them.”